While browsing in a Logan Square flower shop, called Fleur, we struck up a conversation with one of the florists, Rachel. She clued us into the reality of "Bridezillas," telling us:
"I never really thought the Bridezilla thing was real until I saw it in person. Brides can really get controlling. They put all this money into one day, when it could go into a year of traveling. And it usually is a sign of a marriage that's not going to last, if they care that much about flower arrangements. Men care sometimes, too, but it doesn't seem to be much of a big deal to them."
Is this a true stereotype? Why do women put so much emphasis on one little day?
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I was married a year ago, and couldn't care less about all the brou-ha-ha, but was forced by my mom to have the wedding I (she) always dreamed of. She spent more on the flowers than my in-laws gave us for a honeymoon trip. Businesses are dictating what things are important in life, and big weddings are the latest hook. I was so anxious and upset about the wedding because so much money was being funneled into something I didn't think was the most important day of my life. That's what kept me sane-- realizing everyone else was crazy.
I think all the criticisms that you hear about the Christmas season are applicable to weddings. They're created by the same beasts.
At the heart of both occasions there is something good and special. Christmas and weddings are supposed to be all about showing how much you care for the people you love, but that desire gets manipulated ad infinitum.
We're programmed to love Christmas and weddings through TV and movies and magazines. If you took away Christmas and romance, whole swaths of the media and publishing industries would be out of business.
Advertisers piggy-back on to these feel-good messages. You have to buy all these things, it has to be just right to "show you care" and evoke and recreate those feelings in RomComs and Hallmark cards.
At the same time, I hate hearing about Bridezillas all the time. I don't doubt that women go crazy trying to plan out their wedding and make it all perfect. But I wish I heard more criticisms of weddings in general and not just the brides who go crazy trying to plan these crazy weddings.
I went to a Quaker-esq wedding a few weeks back and it was really refreshing glimpse at the range of alternatives to a traditional wedding. There was little in the way of formalities with the emphasis put on letting people interact, everyone had a chance to speak up and share their support for the couple and their decision. It was easy for them having a supporting family. I can definitely see how some people could end up railroaded into the wedding the family wanted.
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