Chicago: LAUREN

Back in April of last year, when I met up with Emma in Chicago to do a few sample interviews and test out GIRLdrive, one of the feminists we interviewed was Lauren Berlant (left), a professor of English at the University of Chicago and an influential feminist thinker. To this day, we still consider it one of the most important interviews we did, one of those long, meandering conversations during which you have several epiphanies. We remember one moment in particular, when Lauren addressed the issue of reconciling "work" (feminism, intellect) with "play" (happiness, sex). It's stuck with us ever since:

"As an intellectual, feminist or not, you are constantly being called to say what you are thinking and describe what you are doing all the time. Then there are these spaces for an interruption or a relief...the “appetite” spaces, like eating and fucking and watching TV and hanging out with your friends. What feminism hoped for was forms of pleasure that would also be about self-development, where your forms of self-cultivation would also be your pleasure. We have to admit that pleasure is not just about eloquence, culture, clarity. Its also fogginess and sex. Once you think about sex as a place where you lose control, it’s to some extent contrary to intellect and feminism as a theory. If feminism is about control, and sex is about losing control, how do you reconcile that?"

--NWA

Overheard in Chicago #3: Post-'Sex and the City'

On Saturday night, we eagerly went out to see the Sex and the City movie with a few of our friends. Over pizza and martinis (of course), we "couldn't help but wonder": did Sex and the City portray women positively or negatively?
*warning: slight spoilers below*

Matt: I found some of the portrayal of women in Sex and the City to be kind of offensive. The general impression I got from most of the characters (the redheaded lawyer one being the exception) was that women are vapid, self-absorbed, and capable of self-reflection only when pushed by others ...which isn't really self-reflection after all, is it? (Matt had a lot more brilliant things to say about this issue. Check out more of his thoughts here).

Antonia: I disagree. I don't think the movie was sexist. I thought Samantha's storyline especially was uplifting--that she chose to be independent in the end.

Emma: But what about all that overeating bullshit, the fact that they made such a big deal about Samantha gaining 15 pounds? That was lightweight offensive.

Antonia: Yeah...but it's realistic. Some women do turn to binge-eating to deal with stress.

Collier: I thought the movie was very materialistic, and stuck in the late nineties, 'First Wives Club'-status.

Antonia: I don't think the show is insinuating that ALL women are materialistic, and I don't think there is anything really wrong with materialism! (check out her full diatribe here)

For Nona's opinion, check out her review of the film for VenusZine.

Mid-Week Memo: The Virgin

Note: This is Part 1 in a 3-part series discussing Chastity, Purity, and Promiscuity.

The other day, Rosa,* 16, confessed to us that she had been raped when she was 9 by a family friend. "I'm fine now," she told us. Her voice wavered but her strength and poise was obvious. She seemed to have accepted what had happened and moved on. But our hearts broke when when she shared how it's affected the way she looks at love and sex:

"[My boyfriend now] knows what I've been through, and he don't even kiss me. We'll hold hands and he'll ask me if it's okay. I met him at church. There was a time where I came out to the church, because they were like, "Come up to the altar if you need healing because you've been raped or molested." So I went up there and he started praying for me...and I finally was able to give my problem to God. I really struggled with forgiveness, but now that I've started to go to church, I've forgiven the man who raped me. It was wrong, it was a mistake he did, but in God's eyes, I'm still a virgin, I'm still pure."

Our stomachs sank, not only because Rosa had been hurt, or because she was only a child when it happened, but because she fundamentally felt stained by the rape. No matter how she had let her life blossom, the most important thing to restore after she was raped was her "purity"--her virginity. Now that Rosa had gotten a second chance at guarding her sexuality, she barely lets her boyfriend touch her. On some level, she was admitting that she will forever think of sex as something to defend herself against, not to enjoy.

The reason for this dread is partly psychological--no 9-year-old is ready for sex, much less outright violation. But the social construct of virginity and purity is also so ingrained in our culture that who can blame Rosa for feeling impure and dirty? Why are we so fascinated by this tiny little piece of skin that, up until a few decades ago, was usually not even up to a woman to "give up"? Virginity is still a huge deal. Virginal pop stars are alternately idolized and scorned. "Virginity pledges" in the shadow of abstinence-only education are on the rise. Teenage girls constantly fret about what makes you "technically a virgin" (see Schechter's movie trailers, below). Not to mention that the whole idea of virginity is based on heterosexual relationships, leaving an entire population of homosexual women and men out of the equation.

Most unfairly, people couldn't care less about teenage boys losing their virginities. Guarding sexuality is almost purely, so to speak, on the shoulders of a woman, implying that the only one who would even want to have sex is unquestionably the man. Rape will always be unthinkably painful, but it could be a lot easier to heal from it as a young girl without the added job of "gatekeeper."

Emma and I have been obsessed with the topic of virginity ever since this road trip began. Emma is sinking her teeth into Hanne Blank's Virgin: The Untouched History, and I've been patiently waiting for Therese Schechter’s documentary The American Virgin (her website is where I stole that cherry photo). Schechter calls virginity "the cornerstone of Western civilization." It's a term that's only started to be questioned and broken down, and pop culture has a long way to go before they quit dichotomizing Madonna and whore.

*name has been changed

Discussion Question 1
Discussion Question 2

Chicago: DELIZA

Deliza is one of the ladies we've met through Step Up Women's Network. We got to know her a little while back when we profiled her for Student of the Month (check out the article here), which is an honor given by Step Up to a particularly inspiring, diligent, and committed young woman who is part of the Teen Empowerment program. Deliza (left, in her pantry-turned-studio at home) is 16, was raised in Puerto Rico and Chicago's Humboldt Park neighborhood, goes to North Grand high school, and plans to be a famous singer/dancer/choreographer (she already writes her own songs).

Deliza freely told us her steadfast opinions on everything from teen pregnancy to women's roles in the Latino community, but "feminism" was a new word and concept for Deliza. Emma and I tried as best we could to explain the many facets of what feminism could mean. We gave her a little history, told her that it's all wrapped up in choices, happiness, sex, family, love. We quoted one of her fellow Step Up girls, Maryann, who said that "being a feminist is not feeling like you just have to be in the kitchen and pop out babies." This is what Deliza had to say:

"If someone called me a feminist, I think I would agree. It's like what Maryann said, there are so many opportunities out there. You don't have to be what people want you to be. I am going to take a stand for it...You know when your parents tell you, 'You can do anything you want'? I really took that into consideration. I believe I can do whatever I want, and no one's going to stop me. Not a man, not a female, not the government, not Bush. I am my own person. So with the definition that you guys have given me, I would see myself as a feminist."

--NWA

Overheard in Chicago #2: DARYL and JOEY

A coincidence: While Emma was out of town, I had two unrelated but quite similar conversations about GIRLdrive and our stance on international feminism. We've touched on this issue a few times (Siman from Phoenix had a lot to say about it), but it has not come up in a while.

The first conversation I had was with Daryl, a 25-year-old behavior consultant for an organization providing services for people with autism. She works in Berkeley but was in town for a conference, and I met her randomly at the tail end of Saturday night. When we got on the topic of the very American story of GIRLdrive, Daryl had a lot to say. "Our struggles are nothing compared to what international women go through," she commented over an Old Style. "I know you guys are trying to figure out where American feminism is headed, but in my daily life, I feel fine. I feel like I can say what I want and do what I want for the most part." Although tentatively identifying as a feminist, Daryl made it clear that basic human rights were her priority--and not necessarily sweating the "small stuff."

The next day, I heard something similar--from a boy. Joey, a twentysomething dude from Humboldt Park, Chicago, was in a car with me and happened to ask me why I moved to Chicago. I told him, and he had a similar reaction to Daryl's: "When I think of what needs to be done in terms of feminism, I think of other countries. It's all relative."

What do you guys think about this issue? Should GIRLdrive go global? Or is the search for feminism via a Chevy Cavalier a very specific American trope? Tell us your thoughts.

--NWA

Woman Made Gallery: AMY

This is PART II of a series of blog entries devoted to

Contemporary Art and Feminism

I recently sat down for a conversation with Amy (above), gallery coordinator for Woman Made Gallery in Chicago, the midwest regional coordinator for the Feminist Art Project, and adjunct Art History prof at DePaul University.

On having a women only gallery: “Woman Made couldn’t be called a feminist gallery because we have shows that are abstract and geometric. Feminism has a connotation that is more political. Its really important to have that kind of show because women artists are underrepresented in the art world and just because an artist does abstraction or geometric forms doesn’t mean we can’t be an advocate for them. Being an advocate for all women artists is where the name Woman Made comes from. For our audiences the idea of a feminist made gallery would mean political art. Would more people come to the gallery if it was called WM gallery, would more collectors buy from us? What connotations are we promoting with our name? Ultimately it's not about identity, its about women being underrepresented in the art world.”

On younger artists aversion to being labeled feminist: “We had an emerging art show called ‘Feminist Interrogations,’ all about how feminism can be used as a tool of social activism. I encouraged younger artists associated with our gallery to apply, and a lot of them didn’t. Their idea of feminism was about images of women and this way we think about feminism traditionally. It seems there is a gap there in terms of how younger artists are getting involved with feminism and making it relevant to their lives… There are young artists who don’t want to show here. They don’t want to make that distinction, that their work is only supposed to be shown at a Woman’s Gallery, they don’t want to put that on their record. They don’t want the issue of personal identity associated with their work, and I can understand that, but I would still advocate for them.”

--EBB

Chicago: DOROTHEE

Dorothee: 24, lives in Chicago's West Town neighborhood, and went to high school in Germany. She runs an online video magazine called Fresh Cut, and works at a foundation downtown "to pay the bills." Is a feminist "but I don't think about it every day."

On being called a feminist:

"Being a woman has definitely made me more sensitive to being taken seriously. I've checked myself if I really want to say that something's unfair about being a girl, like not wanting to sound like a militant feminist. I totally censor myself because I don't want to seem aggressive or unattractive. People are really turned off by it; they don't want to hear it...And [women] are raised in our society, too, so we're sexist against ourselves almost. We're turned off by it too."

Overheard in Chicago #1: JANE

Every weekend we will post overhead musings from friends and random women we run into in bars, cars, restaurants, and on the streets.
One of my best friends Jane came into Chicago this weekend to help me celebrate my 23rd birthday. As we lay in bed one morning, groggily addressing our hangovers and our hungry bellies, we got to talking about the female obsession with weight. Jane had thoughts to share:

“Even if we blame the patriarchy for planting the seeds of body image anxieties, it seems to me that it was women themselves who disseminated and watered these seeds into the monstrous weeds they are today. I’ve observed that perhaps contrary to biological instinct, women mainly base their aesthetic self worth upon the assessment of other women: I dress to impress my female friends, not my boyfriend. These friends are more conscious, critical of weight fluctuations, bad haircuts, and make-up faux pas than my boyfriend—if he even notices that anything is different, he would be incapable of verbalizing the nuances desired in such a critique. A female friend satisfies the neurotic dressing room desire for abasement (honesty), she would tell you that your ass looks too fat in that miniskirt, your boyfriend would say, ‘you look hot…' ”

--EBB

UPDATE: Mid-Week Memo

Wednesday entries will now cover specific topics and projects that we are involved in. Look out for ongoing themes such as women and the arts, mentoring teenage girls, intergenerational conversations, and more juicy tidbits from the feminist frontier.

Left Forum: Continuing the Conversation

In March, I got invited to speak on behalf of "young feminists" at the Left Forum, an annual conference of lefty intellectuals, activists, writers, and organizers held at Cooper Union in New York. The panel was called "The Pleasure Frontier: An Intergenerational Dialogue on Sex in Feminism" and consisted of me (in the middle); Jennifer Baumgardner (right), the thirtysomething Third Wave feminist activist, author and filmmaker; and Loretta Ross (left), Second Wave-era feminist and founder of the National Coordinator of the SisterSong Women of Color Reproductive Health Collective. The room at Cooper Union was packed--people sitting on the floor and in windowsills, latecomers hanging in the doorways. The brief panel was followed by--I'm not kidding--a 1.5 hour-long question and answer session.

Anger and confessions spilled out of people's mouths, as arguments bounced across the room. Hands shot up everywhere: Can stripping and porn ever be feminist? Why is incest ignored by the media? Are women of color too oversexualized to be included in the feminist conversation? Jennifer, Loretta and I felt a palpable generational gap. There were audible "tsks" in reaction to what I had to say about teenage sex and modesty. I could feel the tension, rage, and passion in this tiny little classroom, and I left with a strange mix of defeat and satisfaction.

It proved to me that once again, feminists are their own worst enemies. It seems to take unfathomable amounts of compromise to please women from all over the spectrum. But it also showed me that feminism--sex-related or not--is still a hot topic. It is one that women care about and want to tackle head-on. People (yes, men too) get riled up about these issues. Sex was just a way to get the fire going, but judging by the profusion of hugs and thanks yous I got after the panel, it will continue to burn.

-NWA

*Look out for the next installment of Emma's Contemporary Art and Feminism series next Wednesday.

Chicago: HANNAH (aka GOOSE)

Hannah (right, known to us by her former nickname 'Goose'), 23, is originally from Hoboken, NJ, although she "considers herself from New York, even if most people don't." She is currently assisting on a documentary about Grace Paley and is going for her MA in Film Studies in the fall at the University of Iowa. She considers herself a feminist and is an old friend of Emma's and mine from Camp Kinderland, a lefty Jewish summer camp where we met. We reunited with Goose in Chicago over sandwiches to get her take on feminism and being a woman. At one point, we reminisced about how Goose used to be a serious tomboy, and often people would mistake as a boy. Turns out it was a very conscious "fuck you" to preconceived notions about gender:

"As you guys know, I had very short hair for quite a long time, and part of that was that even when I was young, I would think, 'How can you say I look like a boy, because what does a boy look like?' It wasn't me questioning my gender identity, it was more questioning those kind of constructs from my naive 9-year-old point of view....I had a letter that I wrote to a pen pal that I never sent for some reason, [and I wrote] 'People always think I'm a boy, but I'm really happy being a girl'...after a while, it was like, 'This is my stand. I should be allowed to look how I look and still be considered a young woman.' [Then I changed because] I was attracted to men and they weren't attracted to me. Also, it was kind of exciting because I had never had the childhood experience to dress up in girly things."

Look out for Goose's upcoming article in The Believer, where she writes about being into baby names and, among other things, how it kind of makes her "feel like a bad feminist."

Chicago: LUCY

Lucy is 24, a native Chicagoan, and an assistant editor for the post-production company Optimus, which produces commercials. She is an aspiring film-maker and screenplay writer and is our dear friend who came with us on the Southern stretch of GIRLdrive: through Austin, New Orleans, and Memphis. (The photo on the left was taken in the Marigny in NOLA.) Months later, we finally had a chance to sit down with her and ask her what she thought:

On feminism:
"Even after being on the road trip and knowing you guys so well, I still kind of don't know what that definition means...but I feel like, how can you be a woman and not be a feminist? I guess being a feminist is not ignoring the fact that if you're a woman, you experience things a certain way, no matter what, no matter whether you want to face it or not."

On mothers and mentorship:
"I'm lucky that I have a really good relationship with my mom, and she's been an incredible mentor to me...but I don't want to always go to my mom for everything. I don't do what my mom did and that's partially on purpose. I want someone else who will be not only a teacher, but a friend who has empathy. It's hard for girls to even find out what they want to do...and I would be more unhappy if I had to be the assistant to a man. [When I assisted men]...they wouldn't trust me with a lot of things and I would allow myself to believe that. I would slip into this weird submissive thing where I'd be scared to screw up."

"Beyond the Waves"

This is PART I of a series of blog entries devoted to
Contemporary Art and Feminism

On March 30 I had my first feminist public speaking gig (well…since the mock debate on abortion in 5th grade). I was invited to be the youngest panelist for “Beyond the Waves: Feminist Artists Talk Across the Generations” at the Sackler Center for Feminist Art at the Brooklyn Museum, the bookend to a month of exciting events for Women’s Art History Month in New York put on by the feminist art gallery A.I.R.

(L2R: Kat Griefen, Susan Bee, Mira Schor, me, Carolee Schneemann, Brynna Tucker )

On the panel with me were an array of other accomplished feminist artists, many of whom we interviewed as part of GIRLdrive.* The implicit question on the table was daunting: what does it mean to call yourself a feminist artist? How is it different now than in the revolutionary glory days? Squeezed between famed Second Wavers, some of whom I literally owe my life to (my mom was on the panel), and with a standing-room audience packed in peering forward for answers... my nerves kicked in. The speech I had prepared didn’t necessarily provide backrubs for every neglected older woman artist in the room. The night before, practicing in my bedroom, it seemed like a good idea to draw attention to the changes in generational attitudes towards proclaiming oneself a “feminist artist.” Now all I could think was, thank God those emergency exits are blaring red, I might need them for a quick escape.

But as I took the podium, first talking about GIRLdrive, then about my own feminist-infused artwork, I began to feel proud to be representing my generation. After announcing our publishing deal, I got a round of applause that turned me as red as those exit lights. And even though I ended on an ambiguous, slightly admonishing tone (asking the audience to reconsider the ungrateful daughter paradigm, and come up with new language to describe gendered artworks), I was surprised to find an enthusiastic crowd waiting to compliment me when I stepped down. Maybe the reason why open dialogue between feminist generations is so hard is that we are all so afraid of hurting feelings, of misspeaking.
The panel taught me a lot. Feelings are for sissies.
Don’t open your heart: open your ears, and you’ll hear a whole lot more.
--EBB

*Our forthcoming book will have a section devoted to art and feminism. It will include interviews with curators, artists, art critics and historians on the state of women in the art world. Look for upcoming blog entry snippets with the likes of: Linda Nochlin, Amy Galpin (of Woman Made Gallery), Kat Griefen (of A.I.R. Gallery), Joan Snyder, Joan Jonas, Carolee Schneemann, Mira Schor, Susan Bee, Faith Wilding, the Brainstormers, a Guerrilla Girl, and many more!

Our date with Step Up Women's Network

Emma and I spent a few hours yesterday at an event called "Cool Women, Hot Careers," a panel and workshop focused on helping teen girls make their professional dreams reality. It was hosted by Step Up Women's Network, an amazing organization that we have recently hooked up with. Step Up is a non-profit committed to mentoring, educating, and networking with disadvantaged teen girls in Chicago and other cities across the United States. The wonderful thing about it is that it's a true intergenerational exchange--the program pairs the teenagers up with grown women who provide professional guidance, arming the girls with the skills they need. When Emma discovered Step Up on the web, we instantly recognized that its urge to give young women a voice and forge connections between generations fit uncannily with the spirit of GIRLdrive.

We met with a few of the girls during a Dreambooking session (left), where the girls mapped out their goals and portrayed them visually in a collage. We've only caught a glimpse of how the organization works--at this event and at another showcase of the girls' photographs--and already we are so impressed and inspired. These ladies have unbelievable poise, and we can't wait to start working with them. Starting April 30, we are going to be helping out in any way we can with the "I Dream To" program. The girls involved in the program interview, report on, and photograph a professional woman they admire and would like to learn from. Sound familiar? After over 200 GIRLdrive interviews and photos, we are eager to pass down our photojournalism wisdom! Stay tuned.

--NWA

Chicago: AMY

Amy Schroeder: 31, founder and editor-in-chief of the women-focused pop culture magazine Venus, through-and-through midwesterner, Third Wave feminist.

"In our new issue, we have a feature on the Greatest Female Guitarists of All Time. The reason we did it is because Rolling Stone in 2002 did a cover story on the Greatest Guitarists of All Time. There's 100 guitarists on that list. 2 are women. So that's why we did it, but I hate doing that in a way because its ghettoizing women. Saying like "Well, they're secondary" but they're fucking not. Yet if we don't do this list, then chances are these women won't be recognized anywhere else...It sucks to be thought as always the 'female guitarist,' but somebody's gotta recognize these women."

Update: We have a book deal!

Seal Press, an imprint of Perseus Books, has just offered to publish our book! Details will follow, but just so our readers and interviewees know: the GIRLdrive dream has now become reality. Our journey is by no means over--it has been instilled with new life (aka money) allowing us to finish up our interviews and turn our adventures into a coherent narrative.

We will be writing in Chicago but will be back on the East coast for a chunk of time in the summer, to interview the ladies we have missed!

Expect a new slew of blog entries, updates, and photos in the near future.

Love,

Nona and Emma

Madison: EMMA, EMMA, AND SUMMER

One night in a Madison bar, we met up with three ladies studying for their Masters in fiction at UW-Madison (and had our first taste of Wisconsin cheese curds). A long and winding feminist discussion ensued.

Summer: 31, worked for Court TV and the Christian Science Monitor until she moved to the Middle East and got married, came back to get her MFA in fiction, originally from Basking Ridge, NJ.

"I come from a very traditional family, my parents are immigrants from Lebanon and their roles are very defined...you can probably guess the details. When I got married, I really panicked, and was all worried, like 'Do I have to start cooking?' I just resisted it because it was so much the idea of a traditional mother, even though my husband never said anything about it...I had this weird experience where I start cooking all these meals out of anger...Now I'm more comfortable with the fact that my role is cooking in my marriage, but not because I'm a woman. We have our own way of splitting things."

Emma #1: 27, originally from Baltimore, went to Yale, taught in rural Louisiana and Beijing before going for her MFA.

"It's never really occurred to me to consider myself a feminist...I was having a conversation about this issue with my mother the other day, when Hillary Clinton beat Obama in New Hampshire, because she was super-excited, like 'Oh, this is so great for women, the idea of a woman president.' I was voicing to her, which she found to be heartening but also a little bit sad, that I just don't think about being female and being defined by that in the way that she does...It may just go back to childhood, because in my classes growing up, the girls were always smarter, more dynamic, talkative, and outgoing--the all-star students of the class."

Emma #2: 27, getting her fiction MFA, originally from New York, graduated from Oberlin.

"All my male friends now are single. They really don't feel pressure to get married the way some women our age do. They're all going out and dating and picking up girls in bars..and I'm not doing that, I've been in a relationship for 6 years now. I do feel this pressure, and it's connected to the idea of having children. If all women could have children at 45, it would be fine! I wouldn't worry about it. But it's not the case. And it's not like I want them to feel pressure, it's just frustrating."

Madison: KATIE

Katie: 26, grew up in Wausau, WI, single mom to 8-year-old Kaitlin (pictured here), works at domestic abuse agency and a captioning company, graduated from UW-Madison in 2006. Definitely a feminist.

"My grandfather had set aside some money for me and my brother and my sister to pursue school, and it's been gone for a long time now, but I have had a little more luck and opportunities [to go to school] then other young mothers in my position. I would like to see that change, for there to be a way for single mothers to have those opportunities without relying on a family member. My friend has a daughter who's Kaitlin's age, and she can only take 1 or 2 classes because she has to work during the day and night. Her family is just not supportive at all. And she's going for nursing, which isn't something she is all that interested in. It was a very practical decision--once she gets a degree she'll be able to support her daughter in the way that she wants to."

Madison: JACKIE

Jackie: 22, senior sociology major at UW-Madison, setter on the varsity Volleyball team, raised in the suburbs of Chicago, loves music, wants to be a college coach when she graduates. Is not a feminist because "people think of 'feminist' as an extreme position, and I tend not to be extreme about anything."

"There's a stereotype that if you're a woman athlete you're not necessarily feminine...I'll be out and a guy will come up to me, and instead of starting a typical conversation like 'How are you, what's your name?'...it's 'Whoa, you could beat me up!'...I've found that male athletes are easier to date, it's not as big of a deal, because you're into the same things. But any time I've dated a non-athlete, it's different because they see you as just an athlete sometimes. It's part of who I am, but not all of who I am, and sometimes guys don't see that."

Milwaukee: JESSICA

Jessica: 27, born in Milwaukee, was an education major at UW-Lacrosse, works at a small alternative high school for "at-risk youth" on the South Side, volunteers at Milwaukee's feminist bookstore, Broad Vocabulary (pictured here). Considers herself a feminist.

"I started volunteering here in the summer, when I was off from teaching. Working here I meet a lot of people that really open your eyes to a lot of things. It's almost still like it was 50 years ago in most of Milwaukee, where two guys or two girls walking down the street holding hands will still turn heads. The owners of this bookstore wanted to open this place not as a money-making profit enterprise, but as a space for people to come and network and seek a community space...to let people know that feminism isn't a scary thing, that it's not penis-hating women running around crazy."

The Streets of Bay View in Milwaukee

Update: GIRLdrive is in Chicago!

We are taking a semi-hiatus in Chicago, grouping all our material together and taking weekend trips around the area. Look out for snippets of our Madison/Milwaukee trip soon.

--Nona and Emma